At Least He Didn't Hit on the Andrews Sisters
The Daily Probe - October 25, 1999
The context for this and other Daily Probe articles is provided here.
NEWARK, NJ (DPI) - Speaking before an adoring crowd of elderly war
veterans, President Bill Clinton unleashed a torrent of humorous
one-liners and hilarious celebrity impressions that had the giddy
oldsters literally falling out of their chairs.
"He was really 'on' today, by Neddy Jingo!" enthused Marlon Thorpe,
82, who stormed the beaches of Normandy fully two years before the
president was born. "His Elvis impression is tops with me! I had to
empty my bag twice, and I'm usually a once a day kind of guy!"
The occasion was the dedication in Haskataway, New Jersey, of an
eternal flame in honor of veterans of all 20th Century American
wars. The memorial was built using funds raised by VFW Local 287.
"He's another Uncle Miltie," crowed toothless Lester Edwards, 75.
"I lost an arm and several toes to frostbite in the Battle of the
Bulge. I used to think that my country didn't appreciate me, but
notice that I got into this wonderful show for free. Now I know that
my sacrifice was worth it. I'm still laughing. I give it one thumb
up, which in my case is high praise--I only *have* one thumb!"
Most eloquent of all was the oldest man present, 101-year-old John
Thompson, who trembled with emotion when asked about the President's
performance. Unable to hear or speak because of shell shock suffered
in the trenches of World War I, Mr. Thompson managed to scrawl an
appreciative note on the back of his program from the show.
It read: "I had not laughed since 1918. Until today. I am deaf,
but you don't have to hear in order to appreciate this fellow's
meaning. It works equally well as pantomime, believe me. Bob Hope
did nothing for me, but this young pompadour has awakened my soul.
There is hope for America."
Asked to comment on the rousing reception that his act received,
Mr. Clinton said humbly, "You know, as good as it was, this was
just a tune-up. We have a few more gigs like this in the sticks,
but the big event will be my speech at the Tomb of the Unknown
Soldier in Washington, D.C."
- Reported by Chris Jones
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