Cheney Illness Prompts Thanksgiving Truce
The Daily Probe - November 27, 2000
The context for this and other Daily Probe articles is provided here.
AUSTIN, TX (DPI) - Concern over the health of Vice President-elect/
not-elect/maybe-elect Dick Cheney temporarily calmed the turbulent
waters around the contested election in Florida last week. Al Gore
sent a personal note wishing Mr. Cheney well following his hospital-
ization for chest pains. A copy of the note obtained by The Daily
Probe revealed its contents:
Dear Dick:
Pasty naked Tipper and I were sorry to hear that your ticker
is unstable. As the survivor of a deceased sister and a witness
to various other illnesses and injuries in people close to me but
thankfully NOT me, I too have angina probably exactly the same as
yours. LOOK OUT!! THE NURSE HAS A KNIFE!!
I hope that you are resting well and that you won't let any
stress related to my victory in Florida push you beyond any
thresholds, toward any bright lights at the end of any potential
tunnels. HA HO!! BOOGIE BOOGIE BOOGIE!! Didn't startle you,
did I? WACKA WACKA RIGHT IN YOUR FACE -- OH MY GOD!! THERE'S AN
AIR BUBBLE IN THAT I.V. TUBE!!!
Joe also sends his regards, and Hadassah is having a high old
time picking out wallpaper for the Vice Presidential residence.
Stay calm, man, and don't worry a bit about that Halliburton stock
crash thing.
Sincerely,
President Al "Will of the People" Gore
- Reported by Chris Jones
-30-