Gruesome Corpse Disrupts Avoo-Doray Festival
The Daily Probe - December 29, 1999
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WHOVILLE (DPI) - The sudden arrival of a dead green mountain
hermit in a giant sled ruined the normally harmonious Christmas
morning sing-along in the town square today. The pajama-clad
townspeople had just finished the third chorus of "Avoo-Doray"
when someone spotted the sled bearing down on the crowd from the
steep slopes of nearby Mount Crumpit. If the crowd had dispersed
randomly, tragedy may have been averted; instead, the Whos nearest
the approaching juggernaut attempted to create an opening in the
circle of Whos by having several Whos move backward to simulate an
opening door. This elegant but slow maneuver placed little Cindy
Loo Who directly in the path of the sled, where she was run over
and killed. The silent sled ground to a halt. The surviving Whos
slowly approached, when suddenly a rabid coyote with a stick tied
to its head leapt snarling from the sled. Town ranger Bubba Loo
Who shot the creature dead with his Who Musket. The sled's driver
turned out to be a hideous green humanoid creature, which sat
frozen in the seat with its face contorted in a wide grin with
endless curlicue crinkles at the ends. Coroner Dr. Ululoo Who
examined the creature and estimated the time of death at mere
minutes before the sled's arrival in town. He pointed to the gaping
hole in the chest cavity and said that its heart had rapidly
enlarged beyond the point of bursting. Dr. Who will conduct an
autopsy to confirm the cause of death, but only after the Roast
Beast luncheon later today.
- Reported by Chris Jones
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