Liberal Hot Air Solves Energy Crisis
The Daily Probe - March 23, 2001
The context for this and other Daily Probe articles is provided here.
WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) - President George W. Bush announced Thursday
that he has an ingenious solution to the nation's shortage of
affordable energy. The President has proposed that all leftists
be outfitted with a jaw-operated electrical generator connected to
discharged batteries. Then the President will make a single daily
announcement of a new Republican plan, and the resulting 24 hours
of yammering by the outraged liberals will generate a steady
trickle of energy that will fully charge the batteries. The
good-of-the-many-loving liberals will then gladly deliver the
batteries to their local electrical co-op where their stored
energy will be fed into the grid at no cost to consumers. To
ensure the success of "Operation Jawbone of an Ass", Paul Begala
has been hired to write the opposition mantras for the confounded
leftists to chant after each Republican announcement, and Stephen
King has been hired to flesh out the mantras to the length required
to fully charge the batteries.
Alec Baldwin has been asked to remain on emergency alert, in case
energy levels fall too low.
- Reported by Chris Jones
-30-