Usage: Obviously, this letter addresses a very specific situation and so it would not be suitable as a random insertion of humor unless you modify it to suit some other situation. It does provide a model for a complaint letter that does not insult the editor or otherwise go overboard.
I enjoyed almost every word of your recent article about your good times at Shoney’s restaurant. I didn’t enjoy the word “smarmy” as applied to Waffle House waitresses. I think of that as a negative word, but I did check the dictionary. It means “ingratiating and wheedling; perceived as insincere or excessive.”
But I know some words have multiple meanings so I kept reading and sure enough there was an alternate definition: “of low sleazy taste or quality.”
I suspect that one of two things happened. Either you spent so much time at Shoney’s that your limited time at Waffle House exposed you to the rare server who doesn’t remind you (in a good way) of a favorite aunt, sister, cousin, or daughter; or else you had another word in mind (perhaps “smooth” or “slick”) and you went to the thesaurus for a synonym and accidentally backed into using that other word.
I hope it was a mental or thesaurus misfire, but if not, I suggest you try the Waffle House on Quintard in Anniston and ask to be seated in Brat’s station.
She or anyone else serving there will make you grab your thesaurus in search of complimentary words.
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This work appeared in The Anniston Star on December 2, 2020.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
Perhaps they didn’t appreciate the farding on her face.