Tiny Monkeys Screw Up Evolution Charts
The Daily Probe - March 27, 2000
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WANGJOU, CHINA (DPI) - The discovery of the 45-million year old
fossilized remains of incredibly small primates has spelled
disaster for the evolutionary chart industry, and for the people
who look at those charts. The prehistoric primates, a mere inch
in height and weighing less than an ounce, are considered to be
the earliest ancestor of human beings.
The human evolutionary chart that everyone is used to shows
gradual increases in height from one step to the next. However,
when the midget monkeys are added to the back end of the primate
parade picture, there will be a huge jump in height, from bug-sized
up to the four-foot height of Australopicanthus Manomanishewitz,
the previous earliest known precursor to Homo Sapiens. This will
lead directly to speculation that instead of gradual increases in
height over millions of years, there must have been a cute little
teeny monkey who had her hooty poot region blown out by giving
birth to the comparatively massive "next generation" of ape.
- Reported by Chris Jones
-30-